3 Reasons Porn is a Must-Have Conversation in the Church

The level of devastation depends on who you ask.

Covenant Eyes will tell you the number is 64%. Pure Desire Ministries says 68%. Either way, it’s devastating.

This is the number of Christian men who view pornography at least once a month.

The biggest porn site in the world says that up to 35% of it’s members are women, so this isn't a gender specific game.

Worryingly, only 7% of churches claim to have programs addressing pornography.

The tipping point for pornography occured long ago. It took over society with hurricane force and didn’t stop outside the church doors. Here we are, two decades after the web started making porn more available, hardcore, and private than ever - and churches may not have caught wind of the destruction.

Or have they? In my opinion, the church relating to porn is a lot like the Israelite army. They knew Goliath was big, strong, and scary. They knew the damage he would cause. But they were too terrified to step onto the battlefield, maybe too concerned with eating their bread and cheese.

I love the church. I defend Christian radio stations and strongly disagree when people claim that churches aren’t helpful. I’m the son of a pastor (and grandson, nephew, and son-in-law of pastors, for that matter.) It pains me to point out an error in the church - but this is too important a matter to stay silent.

Here are three reasons we have to talk about porn in the church.

1) The world talks about it

 Sex is the gift that God gave us to confirm our covenantal earthly relationship that most mirrors His relationship with us. We all agree on the phrase, “Sex is a gift from God,” and yet, the world screams perversion of this gift while many churches are silent on it’s benefits. Why are we afraid to talk about a gift God gave us? Too rare are the sermons dedicated to God’s beautiful design for sex. There’s plenty of material there from the beauty of covenant, to how He designed us biologically for monogamy, to the positive economic impact created by a Godly sex life. Let’s do the necessary research and be the change we want to see in the world.

2) Porn cripples our effectiveness

 Porn use rewires our brains to default to depression, anger, and loneliness, among other things. It kills our self-esteem and fills our hearts with shame. We aren’t thinking of praying for that person on the street when we’re clouded with thoughts of guilt from the night before. It tears apart marriages, whether they end in divorce or not, and creates instability in the homes kids grow up in when their Christian parents have mediocre relationships. We need to provide motivation and support for people to overcome addictions to porn.

3) Jesus talked about it

 Pornography comes from the word ‘porneia.’ Jesus used it in Matthew 5. The same chapter that talks about oaths, anger, loving our enemies, and more. He didn’t then put brackets around the verses about lust and instruct us to only talk about it privately and/or when comfortable. He talked about it like He talked about any other topic and we need to follow His lead.

Bonus Point

When introducing the topic, just introduce it normally. Stay away from this:

"I know this is awkward and super hard to talk about it. In fact, I don't even like talking about it and I was nervous all week, etc."

This encourages people to feel awkward and lets them know that it would be uncomfortable as anything to confess to their pastor. When we are comfortable and confident, it communicates to others than they can be somewhat comfortable talking about it too.

What Can We Do?

First, if you’re a leader in the church, Jesus is equipping you to be current with what is affecting your flock. Do the research necessary to speak about porn in your church. I have seen seniors ecstatic when their pastor talked about porn even though it was never their struggle. Those in need will be encouraged to talk about their struggle and those not involved with porn will become informed so they can better help their friend in need.

Second, if you're a not in leadership in the church but it's on your heart to tackle porn, start the conversation. Your pastor, while there to lead and talk about things, isn't called to be tackle everything himself. You can take action and start a group, share resources, organize an event, and send people to ministries equipped to help.

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Do you or someone you know need help in overcoming harmful sexual behaviour? You can take action today. 

Get Help

1. The Stewarding Sexuality Series will drastically improve the way you see your sexuality and you will feel more powerful than ever. It is for small groups, individuals, marriages, and accountability partners. 
2. Pure Freedom Journey is our premium program, where lives are continually changed and set free from the bondage of sexual sin. Apply here to see when the next openings are.
3. Men at least 18 years old, join Pure Freedom Community for free for daily inspiration and support.
4. See all other support resources here.