How to Live Porn-Free (Even if You've Been Hooked for Decades)

“After all this time, can I actually get free from my lust?”

The man looked at me with desperation as we locked eyes in a local library. He was 67 years old and had been addicted to porn for over 50 years.

When he was 45, most of the women he’s now watching were in diapers. Some weren’t even born. He’d already been hooked on porn for 30 years.

A Christian.

A husband.

A father to adult children.

A man desperate for hope.

The longer a man stays in his addiction, the more he believes it’ll be part of his life forever.

This is the lie that sounds logical in our minds, but the truth is, God’s thoughts are higher than ours and His wisdom is opposite to the logic our circumstances lead us to believe. We need to learn what He thinks and what His approach is to getting free from sin.

Getting free from a sexual addiction is not as hard as we think it is when we’re in the battle. We just have to change our approach.

There is a common pattern among people who have been addicted to pornography for decades. They become okay with it. They accept that it’s part of their lives. It often takes a significant event to shake them out of their comfort.

Maybe their wife gives them an ultimatum, their kid learns of their dirty secret, or they lose their job when it gets exposed on the company computer. Until this happens, it’s easy to feel defeated by the monster and accept that it’s too big and too hard to overcome.

You might be reading this and think, “That’s not me. I’m not okay with it.”

I must ask you this: When’s the last time you took a drastic measure to get it out of your life? Do you want it gone in your head, but in your heart you’re not quite ready to live without it?

Almost all Christian men want to be porn-free, but the more they try and fail, the easier it is to quit trying. It becomes such a part of your life that thinking of your future life without this vice to fall back on often becomes a scary thought. It was for me and I’ve talked to many men who have said the same thing.

Without porn, you don’t know what you’d do in your free time. To what would you turn when you need a pick-me-up?

Ironically, quitting ‘trying’ is exactly the key to escaping the addiction. You need to quit trying on your own strength and start ‘training’ in God’s way instead.

1 Timothy 4:7 says, “Train yourself to be godly.”

When you do this, the foundation that gets built into you as you become free from your lust is exactly the foundation that you lean on to stay free forever.

If you succeed in quitting porn by trying in your own strength, you’re a sitting duck when the trials of life come at you because you’re not founded in the Word of Truth.

You can read the Bible through and you’ll never see God tell us to try to quit sin. He does tell us to crucify it, leave it behind, and don’t even think about it. But then He always has a replacement to offer.

(Replacement is bolded in the verses below.)

“The flesh has been crucified so let us walk in step with the Spirit.” (Paraphrase of Galatians 5:24-25)

“Consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus.” (Romans 6:11)

“But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires. (Romans 13:14) 

Sheldon Dean shared his story on our Pure Victory Podcast. He told us that in order to quit porn after spending 65% of his life addicted to it, he prayed, fasted, and started actually applying the Bible to his life. This is what got him free. 

When we focus all of our energy on trying to quit sin, we think we are doing an honourable thing, but our approach is totally wrong. Actually seeking the Lord with our hearts and minds allows His love and power to come in and make us whole.

There are areas of our lives that lead us to habitual behaviour. It could be self-talk, trauma, an inability to deal with stress, disappointment over life, or just a biological addiction caused by a neurological rewiring. No matter what the driving force is, God wants to come and set you free from your sin while healing the driving force in your life as well.

In Pure Freedom Journey, we teach you how to attack lust in your life and heal these driving forces through practical intimacy in Christ.

One member said, “I’ve heard of intimacy with Christ lots before, but I never knew what it looked liked to practically have that be part of my life.”

Many guys have literally been porn-free since Day 1 of their interactions with us. Others haven’t been totally porn-free, but are in a process where they’re growing and healing every day as they move closer to conquering this beast for good. 

If you’ve tried to quit porn and failed over and over again, it’s not the end for you. Jesus is the restorer and redeemer of all things. The battle is not too big for Him, but you must learn how to battle with Him. To practically put on the Lord Jesus Christ, be alive in Him, and walk in step with the Spirit in your journey to freedom.

The best part is, this will lead to way more than just being free from sin. It’ll lead to purpose, impact, and a sense of peace greater than you’ve ever known.

You can learn more about starting your Pure Freedom Journey here.

PRAYER:

“Jesus, I’m sorry for my sin. I’m sorry for trying this on my own for so long. I want to be done with my sin and I am asking you to teach me how to train myself in godliness. I want to live a pure and holy life that pleases you. Amen.”

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Do you or someone you know need help in overcoming harmful sexual behaviour? You can take action today. 

Get Help

1. The Stewarding Sexuality Series will drastically improve the way you see your sexuality and you will feel more powerful than ever. It is for small groups, individuals, marriages, and accountability partners. 
2. Pure Freedom Journey is our premium program, where lives are continually changed and set free from the bondage of sexual sin. Apply here to see when the next openings are.
3. Men at least 18 years old, join Pure Freedom Community for free for daily inspiration and support.
4. See all other support resources here.